Cross country is an introvert’s paradise. I’ve found a perfect balance between having a community of like-minded people who have my back while also having plenty of opportunities to train alone when I want to (nothing beats a long run alone in the mountains.) And, if all else fails, no one will bat an eye when I run away from people.
Despite my introversion, I quickly found a home among my teammates. I formed close friendships with other freshmen, many of whom are still going strong today, and took every opportunity I could to learn from the upperclassmen. But even though I felt welcomed on the team, I still felt out of place interacting with older teammates; all of them had formed their own cliques, and talking to them often felt like I was intruding.
My desire to establish a more welcoming culture on the team led me to run for captain during my sophomore season, despite my doubts that my introversion would prevent me from being an effective leader. Once I was elected, these fears only grew; all the other captains seemed to lead the team effortlessly by directing drills and herding the team to warm-up locations, actions which didn’t come easily to me. In comparison, my personal efforts to facilitate inter-class relationships by engaging with people of all grades felt feeble, and my attempt at sociability didn’t seem nearly as good as the other captains’.
At one meet, I found myself particularly in my head about not being able to direct the whole team as skillfully as other captains did as I braided my hair in preparation for my race. Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see one of the freshman girls on the team, who then asked if I could do her hair too. As I did her hair, she confided in me that she was struggling to cope with nerves before her race, and asked if I had any advice. I told her what our coach had once told me when I was a freshman: she was nervous because she cared, and to focus on finding joy in being competitive during the race.
This interaction made me realize that it was exactly these small conversations that helped me connect with my teammates. My unique style of leadership was about making sure that everyone felt like they had a place on the team by sparking small conversations with teammates. It was then that I realized the power of many of the interactions I had brushed off previously: simply checking in with my teammates in the locker room or encouraging them during workouts not only helped them in the moment, but also encouraged them to interact more with their teammates and rely on them for support.
Ultimately, I realized that being a good leader wasn’t contingent on being loud and assertive. Instead of simply directing everyone, leadership also means promoting unity within the team, and being introverted helped me do that: embracing my own style of leadership and prioritizing small interactions with my teammates ultimately helped ensure that everyone had a place on the team.
