Close ties: people who are close with their parents
Students and staff reflect on the intimate relationships they have formed with their parents and the effect it has on their lives
November 25, 2019
With the jam packed schedules that some MVHS students have, life gets hectic. For certain students, one thing remains constant: the support from their parents. Whether that be driving down to a dance recital and then heading off to a choir rehearsal, or dropping her off at a friend’s house, junior Maia Collazo has always relied on her parents.
Not only do Collazo’s parents ensure that she makes it to her events on time, but also they make the effort to stay involved in her life.
“They care so much about me,” Collazo said. “And sometimes I feel like it gets annoying, but then I’ll think about it a couple days later, it takes time sometimes, but then I realize that they just want what’s best for me.”
For senior Elvis Lang, he notes that instead of scolding him for making mistakes, his parents focus on his growth as an individual.
“They’re really understanding,” Lang said. “Whatever they try to tell me or teach me, they always make sure that I got their intention behind it so it won’t seem like they’re doing things just to control me.”
In contrast, when hanging out with friends, he often recognizes the differences between his relationship with his parents and those of others.
“I know a lot of my friends have some pretty tough relationships with their parents where they’re scared to tell their parents anything,” Lang said. “And they treat their parents like a limiting factor.”
According to Lang, while some students may have trouble communicating with their parents, often times the issue can be traced down to a lack of communication, which prohibits any growth for the relationship.
For math teacher Alan Wong, however, this was never an issue. Even during high school, Wong always prioritized spending time with his family, and because they currently live only 15 minutes away, he finds himself visiting his parents’ house frequently. For the entirety of his life, despite the occasional minor dispute, Wong reflects that his comfortable family environment has continued to supply him with a sense of security.
“We get along really well.” Wong said. “And if there’s anything I need from them, I can always depend on them. At the same time, they show mutual love with my [wife and children].”
Furthermore, Wong notes how his parents have always acknowledged and praised him for his accomplishments in life, mentioning how his close relationship with his parents has mirrored itself with his own family unit.
“My parents do say that they’re proud of what I’ve done with my life,” Wong said. “And so they look back at what we did right as a family and say, you know, we did a great job raising you and I’m proud of how you’re raising your family and things like that. So it’s all kind of come full circle.”
While Wong consistently makes time to visit his parents, Collazo and Lang both believe that they do not spend enough time with their parents, due to the hustle and bustle of high school. They view this barrier as a main factor to what they believe should be improved upon.
“I have such a busy schedule, and my dad is working, and my mom doesn’t really work. We’re all in different places all the time,” Collazo said. “So I don’t really get to spend too much quality time with them, but we’re definitely not all super distant from each other.”
To combat this, Wong simply suggests to schedule a time and date to genuinely talk with one’s parents, whether that be for a high school student or an adult who has moved out, ultimately, with more time spent together, the relationship will eventually deepen.
“Just spend more time with them, to make the effort,” Wong said. “And I know it could be tough … but maybe it could be [to get enough] face time as much as possible. You just set a weekly agenda, maybe every Friday night. Just being able to talk with your parents, I think, is a good start.”