Sophomore Rosa Soler blinks back hot, nervous tears. Dozens of students stream past Soler as she stands in the MVHS bus circle, clutching her class schedule. As an exchange student from Barcelona, Spain, Soler suddenly feels the weight of not knowing a single person on campus. After she arrives at her Yearbook, first-period classroom, her worry dissipates when a group of students waves her over, offering her a seat.
Although Soler adjusted quickly to life at MVHS, there were still many cultural differences that surprised her. For example, MVHS students dress more casually than the students at her school in Barcelona. While seeing students wearing sweatpants is a common occurrence at MVHS, Soler says that wearing clothing like that to school in Barcelona isn’t allowed. Back in Barcelona, she spent most weekends with her friends when she wasn’t studying. She also lived within walking distance of the mall, where they often spent their free time together. Now, she finds that many students’ schedules revolve completely around studying, so she rarely has the opportunity to see friends outside of school.
“I feel like being in this new environment is beneficial because I’m going to learn new ways of doing things,” Soler said. “Even if I would rather hang out with my friends much more, doing this exchange and being in this environment is something that will help me in the future.”
At Soler’s school in Barcelona, many of her classmates began planning exchanges as early as seventh grade, although most joined structured exchange programs that were orchestrated by outside organizations. Inspired by this, Soler also decided in seventh grade that she wanted to spend one year abroad, though she coordinated her own plan with her parents. They chose for Soler to attend MVHS as part of their family history: her mother graduated from MVHS, and Soler had spent summers visiting her grandparents, Charu Rajaraman and Raja Rajaraman, in Cupertino.
“She said this was her only opportunity to have the American experience,” Raja said. “We said we would give her this opportunity because it’s something that she would remember for the rest of her life. We also may not be able to do this for other children in our lifetime, as caring for a child takes a lot of bandwidth. We said we’ll make this sacrifice while we are in good health.”
Although Soler said she was always close with her grandparents, living with them has brought her even closer to them. She helps around the house — cooking, cleaning and assisting them with technology — and appreciates the extended time they get to spend together after years of only summer visits. But even with family support, Soler still faces challenges.
“I used to compare myself to other friends who were in exchanges, since they adapted much more quickly due to having other Spanish exchange students with them,” Soler said. “They were like, ‘I’m so happy. I don’t want to go back to Spain.’ I was like, ‘Oh, I kind of want to go back to Spain.’ I’m having fun, but hearing that made me more sad.”
While Soler was adjusting to a new life, so were Soler’s grandparents. Charu and Raja had to rearrange their schedules to get used to taking care of another person. For example, Charu often found herself reorganizing her days around school drop-offs and Soler’s appointments. Still, both grandparents were determined to nurture Soler’s enthusiasm and independence.
“Children make mistakes,” Raja said. “They mess up sometimes, and you have to do what you have to do while being loving, firm and friendly at the same time. You need that attitude. We believe in the logic of our children being brought up like you’re all in an orbit. Too close is not that great because people need independence. But too far is not good, as if you drift away into something, and then you cannot be pulled back, so it’s about keeping the right distance.”
Despite the difficulties she faced adjusting to MVHS’s rigid academic culture, Soler began adjusting to MVHS quickly. She joined the MVHS tennis team and formed close friendships. One of her favorite memories was going on a trip to Santa Barbara with the tennis team. Although she only practices with the team and does not compete, she said her teammates treat her like one of their own, and she views the MVHS tennis team as her own as well. As she settled in, Soler began to experience more of the American high school life she imagined.
“I imagined a really movie-like high school,” Soler said. “That’s kind of my fault for picking a school in the area I picked, because my friends are kind of having a more movie-like experience, but I kind of see how MVHS is like that too. We get to wear pajamas to school. That’s really weird. There are football games, or just in general, there are rallies and spirit weeks, which would be so weird in Barcelona. Maybe it isn’t exactly what I imagined, but it is something I haven’t experienced before.”
Soler uses technology to stay connected with her family in Barcelona, often calling her younger brother and her mother, Aarthi Rajaraman, despite the nine-hour time difference. Aarthi jokes that mornings at home run smoother without Soler, but she misses the energy that Soler brought into their home. Still, she is proud of Soler and sees this exchange as an opportunity for Soler to strengthen bonds with her grandparents while growing independently.
“Being an exchange student will be a chance for her to sort of broaden her horizons and challenge herself personally, academically and be away from us too,” Aarthi said. “This will be beneficial for her personal growth and cultural experience, as she can meet different people from other cultures. I admire her for it. I think it’s quite brave, and I’m happy for her.”
