Every weekday morning, MVHS students shuffle through the doors of the B building, bleary-eyed from studying late at night and juggling sports practices and club meetings alongside AP coursework. Much of this busy lifestyle is shaped not just by school culture, but also expectations set at home — most MVHS parents are immigrants, and for many students, it isn’t easy to picture what their lives might have looked like had their parents never immigrated.
A 14-hour flight away, a student in India wakes up before the crack of dawn to cram for the Indian Institutes of Technology exam, knowing it could dictate where they end up for the rest of their life. In South Korea, a teenager spends 16 hours a day preparing for the College Scholastic Ability Test, aware that their performance will decide whether they meet their parents’ expectations. In China, millions of high school students face the Gaokao, which determines not only their university but also their socioeconomic status.
Had immigrant parents never immigrated, would we still be dragging ourselves to first period, or would we be waking up on the other side of the world under circumstances that make Cupertino’s cutthroat academic culture look almost forgiving? Although the question is uncomfortable, most of us at Monta Vista are children of immigrants, and our presence at this school is the product of decisions shaped by sacrifices.
Sophomore Sofia Grigolia believes that her parents’ choice to immigrate directly shapes the opportunities she now has. Unlike her parents, who endured a lengthy period of war in Georgia and arrived in America with no money and faced homelessness, she is now able to experience childhood luxuries in ways they never could.
“They struggled to put food on the table from day to day for years,” Grigolia said. “After years of hard work, they have their own company now, and because of their sacrifices, I have so many more opportunities. Especially at MVHS, with the classes I take and the extracurriculars I have, I’m able to access a lot more opportunities to live a better life and have a better career.”
For decades, mainstream media has painted immigrant children under the shadow of “tiger parenting,” a stereotype for strict parents who repress their emotions and demand perfection from their children. Due to the continuous amplification of this narrative, children of immigrants inevitably absorb it. From think pieces in The Atlantic and memoirs like Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” to individuals voicing their own negative experiences on social media platforms, students consuming these stories begin to see their own experiences through the same lens.
The constant framing of immigrant parents as overbearing reinforces resentment rather than reflection. A survey from the Community Mental Health Journal reveals that children of immigrants are already more likely to report stress and conflict at home, and when media coverage confirms that their struggles are a sign of being “burdened,” it leaves little space for gratitude. Instead of recognizing sacrifice, students are encouraged to interpret it as shackles.
Math teacher Josh Kuo, who immigrated from Taiwan, revealed that he experienced an almost military-construct-like class in his high school years, where he took the Taiwan Scholastic Ability Test at the end of his senior year. His perspective highlights the severity of education systems abroad, where a single exam meant all or nothing.
“It’s a very cruel world,” Kuo said. “You either get past the line or you don’t, which greatly hinders your potential in the future. In America, on the other hand, if you don’t get into a prime school, you still have opportunities. It’s a lot easier to start from the ground up here than it is in other places.”
For MVHS students, the weight of academic stress is real, but the opportunities we sometimes take for granted are built on foundations our parents carved out at cost. To senior Aaron Tang, the value of this privilege becomes clear when making comparisons with other high school experiences worldwide.
“The exam in Taiwan can only be taken every other year, and the one in China can only be taken once throughout your high school career,” Tang said. “The SAT or ACT, however, can be taken so many times just in a single year, and it’s only one out of numerous things considered on your college apps.”
The contrast between cultural values built on education systems abroad and the environment they grow up in often produces what sociologists refer to as an “outsider identity,” where children need to balance at-home values such as obedience and resilience versus the culture of the surrounding individuals who celebrate individualism and flexibility. Although Grigolia is immensely grateful for her parents’ sacrifices and the lifestyle she can experience at the moment, she finds that the contrast between her family’s expectations and her peers’ experiences leaves her negotiating two very different sets of rules.
“My parents still have a lot of very traditional Georgian beliefs,” Grigolia said. “Compared to some of my friends with parents who are more adjusted to American culture, I tend to have a lot less freedom when it comes to certain things like staying out.”
With many students already experiencing pressure at home, when the media reinforces these experiences through stereotypes or narrow portrayals, it can nearly solidify these feelings. Shows like “Fresh Off the Boat” reinforce cultural stereotypes of typical immigrant families, such as showing little to no affection to their children, creating what Kuo describes as a “vicious cycle” where students see their experiences at home reflected in exaggerated ways.
“It’s important to be aware of where your emotions come from and to understand how your family’s experiences shape you when faced with these examples in the media,” Kuo said. “Understanding this can let you see how your parents’ hard work has opened doors for you that many people around the world never get.”
The reality is that immigrant children are not uniquely burdened, but uniquely positioned: they have the privilege to experience opportunity. Many may argue that the pressure and isolation diminish the value of these opportunities, and although it is important not to dismiss their struggles, they do not negate the advantages that their parents’ sacrifices provide.
“Start by contextualizing your experiences globally, and then you will gain insight on how advantageously situated you are to pursue paths of opportunity,” Tang said. “Talk to your parents to understand their past experiences and how certain actions are rooted in their own stories.”
Shifting perspective doesn’t necessarily erase the challenges students face, but allows us to recognize that they gave us the rare chance to choose our paths, a chance many young people across the world will never know. That is the gift of possibility.
“Having to move your whole family here is difficult, no matter how you position it,” Kuo said. “There’s the general idea of seeking opportunity, but as we pursue that, always keep in mind that at the end of the day, we’re pursuing happiness here.”
