Heart react: Romantic relationships on social media


Roshan Fernandez

Senior Jacquelyn Loretto treats her Instagram account as a collection of memories. Though her posts appear to be normal pictures, for her, it’s about the moment behind the photo. So, when she posts a photo of her relationship, it’s so she can save the moment.

“I like photos because they’re memories for me,” Loretto said. “When I post [them], it’s like from a dance or an anniversary, and then [it becomes] like a symbol for what that picture came from, that memory.”

Though she does not post something every time she is with her significant other, she understands why some other social media users choose to do so. However, she understands how frequently posting about a significant other may be perceived as ‘overhyping’ a relationship.

“Sometimes people do overhype it because it’s new for them and it’s like ‘oh my god,’” Loretto said. “As time goes on, you mature in the relationship and you mature as a person yourself, and then it kind of settles down.”

Senior Apoorv Pachori agrees with Loretto, explaining that he has also witnessed social media being used to brag about or show off a relationship.

“People want to make it seem like their relationship is the best thing, like ‘I’m having so much fun with my significant other,’” Pachori said. “But if you really are, then you’re not posting pictures about it [all the time].”

These viewpoints are applicable to Pachori’s own relationship –– he explains that he doesn’t often post pictures of it on his public account. However, he uses his private account, which includes only close friends, for more personal posts such as on anniversaries.

“It’s sort of like a happy birthday post, it’s comparable but it’s not the same thing,” Pachori said. “I’m not showing off and saying ‘We’ve been dating for six months.’”

However, senior Ansh Shrivastava prefers only occasional posts about his relationship –– besides that, he would rather keep his relationship private, between him and his significant other.

“When you’re posting about it online it’s nice, but it also dulls the whole ‘one-on-one’ aspect of [your relationship],” Shrivastava said.

And after a relationship ends, Shrivastava feels there is no need to delete the past posts. He feels that deleting those isn’t being one’s genuine self.

“If you break up with someone, the memories are still there,” Shrivastava said. “Deleting posts makes it seem like it was all artificial, like no one has flaws. Everyone has flaws, they break up, they go back [together]; deleting that makes it feel fake.”

Pachori and Loretto share different opinions on this matter –– Pachori wants his social media to represent the current version of himself. Therefore, he says he would delete posts sfrom relationships if they no longer apply to his current situation. Loretto, however, simply believes people should do whatever is best for their unique situation.

“I think people have their reasons to [delete posts], because sometimes relationships are hard, and breakups are hard, and it’s hard to see a reminder,” Loretto said. “It’s whatever you feel like is the most comfortable to move on and move past it.”

But as a whole, Loretto, Pachori and Shrivastava all agree that posting relationship photos is okay, as long as it is done in moderation.

“I feel like a relationship is something that you and a person share, and not something you and a person share with everyone else,” Shrivastava said. “It’s between you two and it’s not between you and the whole world to know about that. It’s the interpersonal details that really make it what it is.”