It took us until junior year to discard these “rules.” We started to have opinions about, well, ourselves. What our passions were, what our beliefs were, who we were as people and who we wanted to become. And, in contrast to what Honey Glazed Donuts had failed to mention, the tie between pleasure and our bodies. 

The conversations about masturbation morphed from rigid denial — the “No”s and the “I would never”s — to more open conversations about anything and everything, from laughing at each other for not being able to find the clitoris to realizing that vibrators exist. And yet, these conversations were still infrequent, abruptly silenced in the presence of anyone outside our closest female friends. 

Isn’t that what they call — you guessed it — internalized misogyny? 

Because denying the existence of female masturbation perpetuates rape culture. Because conditioning women to believe that their bodies are machines built to fulfill patriarchal notions perpetuates rape culture. Because deluding women into believing that their bodies are not theirs to derive pleasure from perpetuates rape culture. 

It is disappointing that we need to “reclaim” control of our bodies — why wasn’t it there to begin with?