co-authored by Sandhya Kannan

The mirror reveals a reflection uncomfortable in its own shell. It begins to speak through a presentation that appears to be thoroughly rehearsed line by line, but the only thing that goes through the speaker’s mind is the fear of stumbling.For three seniors, this is an experience that resonates with each of their high school beginnings. However, the trials and tribulations of high school inspired each of these individuals to break out of their shells and experience the gradual transition to extroversion.

Sruthi Panguluri:

Does she think I’m fat? Does my breath stink? I knew I should have chewed that stick of gum during fourth period. These were the thoughts that flooded senior Sruthi Panguluri’s head four years ago during her first day of freshman year P.E., when she was being introduced to a girl who would become a good friend in the coming years. But at that moment, her stomach was turning, her heart was threatening to rip open her chest cavity, and all she can remember thinking about was what she was doing wrong.

Freshman year was not a time of noteworthy confidence for Panguluri. In fact, confidence development was anything but a priority for her. She had convinced herself that socializing was unnecessary and projected that mindset onto her academics. But when life started to pose its challenges, she could no longer hide from internal fears of finding support from her peers.

“The main reason for my change were the troubles that I had outside of school,” Panguluri said, “so when you want to forget stuff like that, you branch out and the change kind of just happens.”

This revelation drove a change in both self-confidence and in motivation to be more outgoing and extroverted. As the months went by, she began forming emotional bonds with her peers to cope with those she lost in dealing with her tumultuous family situation. And in what seemed to be a blink of an eye, senior year arrived.

“A new member joined our ‘squad’ and she was a cheerleader,” Panguluri said, “and I thought she would be true to the stereotype— like in the movies and such.”

But when Panguluri approached her, there was no sense of fear. Her stomach felt clear of the butterflies she had felt that day in the gym. Her heart wasn’t racing, and she wasn’t thinking about her appearance.

Panguluri ties her gradual trek to her throne of confidence back to one fundamental idea: in the oceans of obstacles that high school throws at its students, the only way to survive is to keep yourself afloat.

“You shouldn’t be scared of the people around you because the most that they can do is judge you,” Panguluri said, “so make it about yourself with whatever time you have.”

Nishith Modi:

Nishith Modi could vividly recall his heart thudding in his chest, the day he’d cut his long, black hair in his freshman year. This same hair had framed his face from the beginning of sixth grade to his middle school graduation. Without it, he wouldn’t be the same.

But that was the point, wasn’t it? To look different, to get noticed, to feel confident. It occurred to him that that’s why he was doing this. The new hair would shape a better looking him, one who could talk to more people, be more outgoing, and it kept him looking forward to whatever came next.

“I’ve been telling myself since the ninth grade to not be scared what people think of you… that’s one of the reasons I’m so shy is because I’ve always been too scared that people might not think of me the way I want them to think of me,” Modi said.

At the end of his freshman year, Modi cut his hair and got himself a different wardrobe, and with confidence in his outward appearance, he found himself being more noticed.The compliments he received on his new look inspired him to branch out and make new friends. The reserved, quiet freshman was replaced by a talkative one, who would participate in class activities with confidence.

Modi’s problem has always been approaching others. So when he decided to change his appearance it had been with the belief that it would help others approach him. Although he is still lacking in his ability to approach others, he has definitely seen an increase in his confidence.

“I’d always wanted to change my appearance in a way, but never knew how, or when the right time was. This time I had decided to just try it out because I had nothing to lose. I didn’t know what I wanted back then. I just wanted something different and so that signified the beginning of a new me, who was still the old me on the inside.”

Atharva Rohatgi:

Self expression played a large role in Senior Atharva Rohatgi’s confidence as well. In Rohatgi’s case however, his inability to fully express himself was a little more literal.

“I remember freshman and sophomore year, I used to stammer a lot. I remember I was talking in front of my dad and I just froze for, like, a minute because I couldn’t say what I wanted to say,” Rohatgi said. “The words just weren’t coming out.”

During class presentations, Rohatgi would stop mid speech. He constantly struggled to speak fluidly and coherently in front of his peers.

The fear of how he would be perceived was also something that affected Rohatgi. However, unwilling to be held back by his fright, he pushed himself to join the Bollywood team his sophomore year, which completely altered his high school experience.

Rohatgi remembers being terrified for his first performance. He stood back stage, bubbling with nervous energy going through choreography again and again until he’d done it at least 100 times. But once he got on stage, he knew it had been worth it.

“When you dance on stage and the crowd cheers for you, you get this feeling of adrenaline and satisfaction because you feel that your hard work paid off, so that builds your confidence,” Rohatgi said. “Being an extrovert basically means to have confidence in yourself—not arrogance, but confidence in what you do.”