Despite the sun peeking out behind the clouds to shine down, the gloomy Tuesday afternoon was still not warm enough to result in the usual number of students present on the blacktop. But, in the absence of the loud basketball players and students chatting on the bleachers, a girl walked back and forth at a leisurely pace, with earphones in, seemingly unaware of the world around her. This focused pacing is also known to senior Amelia de Leon as her alone time.
“I deal with people in my life a lot externally, but when I’m alone, I deal more with myself,” de Leon said.
As a member of the field hockey team and an avid participant in the drama department, she often finds herself overwhelmed with the amount of interaction she must handle in a day. As someone who isn’t very outgoing or inclined to speak up, de Leon rarely is able to express what she truly feels. Although she loves the connections and friends the two activities have allowed her to make, she values time alone just as much, and the environment of the blacktop often gives her exactly what she needs.
“I’m not that outgoing and tend to blend [in] more, going where the conversation takes me, so when I’m alone, I think more about conversations I can’t have with people,” de Leon reflected. “I like people, but sometimes I need space.”
[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/242589635″ params=”auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”200″ iframe=”true” /]She was a part of a middle school graduating class that consisted of only 23 students, a stark contrast to MVHS, where just one class holds more than that number. de Leon’s reluctance to open up is something she has worked on over the years, whether by simply voicing her opinion when appropriate or making sure she lives her life the way she wants, rather than simply doing what others want her to. However, having been a part of who she is for a long time, she explains that it will take a while to make any significant progress.
A girl of many interests, and therefore many opinions, de Leon can get frustrated when those around her continue to discuss the same topics over and over again. For example, when discussing politics, many of her friends get stuck on ranting about Donald Trump and his various offensive statements, but rarely progress past that to discuss other candidates. She finds herself on the verge of expressing her disdain by suggesting an alternate topic or viewpoint, only to shy away at the last minute.
“When I’m with other people, I just disagree with them politely, but when I’m alone I can really think about why I disagreed and what I would have told them,” she said.
Too much of anything can be harmful and the same applies for de Leon, in terms of her attempts to strike a balance between being social and vocal and being isolated and thoughtful. When the black box and goal post become too overwhelming, she takes comfort in knowing that the peaceful and sparsely populated environment of the blacktop will always be there for her.
