Written by Kristin Chang, with additional reporting by Sebastian Zhang

Senior Gabe Preising used to wake up at six in the morning to race to the tree and see if Santa had left any presents. Nowadays, he’s more concerned about getting enough sleep before biking to his dad’s house in the morning. Coffee has replaced presents as his Christmas must-have.

With his dad only a bike ride away, Preising celebrates Christmas Eve at his mom’s house and Christmas morning at his dad’s — his first thought was he’d get double the presents, but that didn’t change. In fact, much has remained the same in how Preising celebrates. Following cultural tradition, he has always celebrated the eve with his mom’s Mexican side of the family, while spending the day with his dad’s side. The difference now is where he celebrates.

“It’s just relocating,” Preising said. “Now I have more time to devote my attention to one parent at a time.”

He’s happy to have twice the ham and twice the attention, but it wasn’t always that way. When he was twelve, he was shocked by his parents’ split, not having noticed any indication that it was coming. All he’d been focused on was school and grades and friends.

“I had a choice to either accept it or keep moping about it.”

Though a couple of his friends had already gone through divorces, and he knew what that entailed, he hadn’t been prepared for the sudden doubling of his life. Confusion clouded his mind, followed by something almost like betrayal. When the holiday season rolled around, all he could think was that it was all so new — he didn’t know what to expect. But as Christmas loomed large, so did an ultimate dilemma:

“I had a choice to either accept it or keep moping about it,” Preising said. “I chose to accept it.”

As the year swept by, he got used to so many things: having two beds, living in two places, opening presents under two trees. In what he calls his “split life,” accepting two Christmas celebrations was the least of his difficulties. It became habit, and now he thinks that the holidays are largely the same. The same small talk, the same morning exhaustion after staying up after a party, the same amount of presents.

“[Parents] stick more to their respective sides anyway, so it works out,” Preising said, explaining that he can now spend more time with one side at a time.

And, like Braunthal, there were unexpected benefits: his mom could now invite more people to her Christmas Eve party, meaning that he could meet new relatives. And the party is livelier than ever. His mom’s side tends to be more extroverted, with loud music overlapping the conversation, while his dad and step-sister’s family tends to be quieter, more reserved. Preising, who describes himself as an introvert, can sometimes be worn out by two days of festivities. Luckily, he’s got a perfect strategy: talk for five minutes, then excuse himself to get food and never come back.

Though he used to have mixed feelings about the split celebration, as having two of everything just seemed like unnecessary stress, he now feels that it’s natural — though the first year he felt awkward, never discussing his split Christmas with his friends, now it doesn’t feel all that different.

“My brother goes back and forth with me, and having him with me as a constant made [Christmas] feel the same,” Preising said.

His younger brother, a freshman, was even more confused than he was by their parents’ split, but they were each other’s mutual support system. As they’ve grown up together, the appeal of Christmas has changed.

“It’s a lot less focused on presents and more focused on family now,” Gabe Preising said. “I don’t care what I get for Christmas as long as I get to see my family.”

Now, his primary motivation for waking up early isn’t to unwrap his presents: it’s to eat breakfast with his dad. Though he wakes up on Christmas groggy from the night before, memories of drunk relatives and pulsing music still clouding his mind, the ride to his dad’s house isn’t very long. And he know what to expect when he gets there: another table set for him.

“Since [the divorce] I’ve had an increased appreciation for family time,” Preising said.

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