Thanksgiving break serves as a sweet, cherished window of time for many college freshmen visiting home, as they anticipate a prospective reality stemming from memories of home-made food, milk tea shops and the warmth of being with family — especially with younger siblings.
Lifelong friend
MVHS Class of 2014 alumnus David Li misses many things about life in Cupertino: warm weather, real Asian food and pearl milk tea. In fact, after his mother picked him up at the airport late at night on Nov. 25, one of the first things he asked for was pearl milk tea.
David departed for Cornell University in the middle of August and has not visited his family since, until Thanksgiving break. He communicates with his sister, junior Vivian Li, via Facebook chatting about once every three days. According to David, both of the siblings have prior experience with each other being absent for up to a month and a half at a time for summer camps, so his three-month long absence is not a monumental problem.
Yet Vivian was still excited for his visit home.
“I was really happy,” Vivian said. “I know that [David] is [staying] only for a few days, but it’s kind of lonely being alone in the house.”
Vivian admits, however, that there are benefits to being the only child at home. Because her brother is at college, she enjoys the luxury of having about half of the house to herself and having two bedrooms — both her brother’s and her own.
But Vivian believes that once she leaves home, communication between her older brother and herself may decrease, due to how different their lives may become. David also believes that their lives will become disparate once they both attend college, though he believes that due to this, they will have more to talk about.
“My life will be one way and [Vivian’s] life will be another way,” David said. “It’ll be interesting to see how different we stay or become.”
While Vivian remains in high school, David retains a connection to his family and community through their online communication. That connection between David and Cupertino will inevitably fade with Vivian’s graduation — but David believes that by then, it will not be as essential for him to stay connected.
“When you live [in Cupertino], you think of MVHS as your home,” David said. “But as you keep going in college, you think of college more as your home. It wouldn’t be as important for me to be connected anyways.”
The two siblings have significantly impacted each other’s lives. In David’s opinion, having a younger sister has made him less selfish, as siblings typically are obliged to share much. As an older brother, he was compelled to consider his sister’s thoughts and feelings as well. From Vivian’s standpoint, having an older sibling has exposed her to situations and arguments common to both kinship and friendship. From her arguments with David, Vivian learned what not to do with her friends.
“In a sense, your sibling is your lifelong friend; you’re never going to forget that,” Vivian said. “From [David], I learned how to manage my friends. At least with him, if we make mistakes we’ll still be together, but that’s not going to happen in life with my friends … You get one chance.”
Planned to the tea
MVHS Class of 2014 alumnus Mallika Kapur’s mother planned out an entire menu of homemade food for every single day of Mallika’s stay at home during Thanksgiving break. The menu even included each meal’s tea.
Mallika was extremely excited at the prospect of spending time at home with her family, especially with her younger sister Maya Kapur, who is currently a sophomore at MVHS. Knowing that her sister was still at home made Mallika look forward more to returning home after a three-month long absence.
“When you have a younger sister, at least you’re really close to them — and you feel like you want to know everything; you want to help,” Mallika said. “And being so far [away] makes it hard to do that, so coming home is like: ‘Yes! I can finally see you and hear what’s actually going on!’”
Mallika communicates with her sister every single day. Communicating so often ensures that all members of the family keep in touch with Mallika, but it also promises a familiarity which alleviates the excitement at each family reunion.
“I think Maya and I are really close, and I don’t think that there’s that much excitement when I come home because we talk everyday,” Mallika said. “So yes, there’s excitement, but it’s not like ‘Oh, I haven’t talked to you in forever!’ I don’t think [that] will really ever change.”
Missed support
For MVHS Class of 2014 alumnus Melissa Wang, Thanksgiving break is a quiet, pleasant hiatus from a dorm life of being constantly surrounded by people.
Melissa left for UC Davis at the end of September, and visited home only once before Thanksgiving break for a doctor’s appointment. She was picked up from the nearby Amtrak station by both Kristina and their mother.
Melissa says that when she arrived home on Nov. 26, around 5 p.m., her family already appeared to be slightly less enthusiastic than when she first visited two weeks prior. However, she was still welcomed home with a homemade dinner.
“I was always busy with [college], so I would never have time to stop and talk to [my family],” Melissa said. “But now I’m back, and I feel like I appreciate [my family] more and they appreciate me more.”
When Melissa is at college, she tries to call home at least once or twice a week, though the calls mostly occurred at the beginning of the quarter and lessened in frequency as Melissa became busier. Yet to Kristina, Melissa’s absence does not make a huge difference because of the college’s relative proximity to Cupertino. Kristina says that when her sister comes home, it seems as though she never left — and the presence of her older sister is comforting.
“I always followed [Melissa’s] example,” Kristina said. “I learned from her experiences. [Melissa] always tells me what decisions I have to make for high school, because she’s already been through it. I learned a lot from what she did.”
As a result, Melissa believes that being an older sister has made her more responsible; she is accountable for looking out for her younger sister. This sibling dynamic affects her attitude towards responsibility even in college, as she sets the example for Kristina.
But Melissa does not have her younger sister with her at college, and she feels that this is one of the detriments of college. Although she has established valuable friendships at college, she does not retain many opportunities to interact with her family.
“[Kristina] always knows how to cheer me up when I’m feeling sad; she’ll be goofy or something and I’ll feel better again,” Melissa said. “I think that support is what I’m missing at college.”
