They’re unflattering and they’re chunky, but oh, so comfy.

Crocs versus Uggs: this issue has been hotly debated since the beginning of civilized history. And now once and for all, this debate will be solved. Right here, right now.

Spoiler alert: Uggs are uglier.

Crocs, for those unfamiliar, are essentially rubber shoes with a strap in the back, and theyíre even uglier than the animals (crocodiles, that is) themselves. Combine a duckís shape, squeaky rubber soles and the peekaboo holes that show off the dry, cracked skin of your feet, and you’ve essentially got a pair of Crocs. Although I don’t personally own a pair of Crocs anymore, I do remember that they were great for lazy Sundays.

However, you might want to skip out on going to the mall on lazy Sundays. Crocs have been banned at some malls and public places because of the fact that they are dangerous to wear on escalators. On top of this, Payless ShoeSourceís Croc dupes, or in other words, rip-offs, for children were recalled in 2007 due to the potential choking hazard caused by the removable rivet between the shoe and strap. Lovely, isnít it?

But that’s nothing compared to Uggs. They’re the super-popular chunky boots lined on the inside with sheepskin. Apparently the hatred of Uggs started off not because of potential animal cruelty issues (more on that later), but because of the lofty price. People who had Uggs were seen as having more money or class, and of course people were jealous.

The hatred of Uggs can be compared to the feeling of driving your motherís Sienna minivan to school and seeing someone driving a Rolls Royce. Except that in this case, theyíre jealous of you, since the minivan is the height of fashion.

Pretty messed up.

But once there were dupes everywhere, everyone inevitably started to hate them because now it was just overkill to see everyone wearing them. People are honestly just never happy.

I proudly own a dupe of the ever-popular uggs; I fondly call them my “fuggs”, short for fake Uggs. From my own personal highly scientifically calculated observations, they make my jeans awkwardly scrunch down into the boots, making me look shorter. Also, I just learned recently that sheep were harmed in the making of these “fuggs”.

I am disgusted that the sheepís lives were wasted on this Uggly abomination.

In my humble opinion, that’s what makes “fuggs”/Uggs worse than Crocs. I still can’t get over the fact that I have essentially killed a sheep for the sake of my own comfort and laziness. On top of that, they killed a sheep for my “fuggs” and the only thing the shoes really do is make me look shorter. Crocs may be more visually scarring than a pair of Uggs but nothing can make up for the fact that animals are dying for the sake of Uggs.

But no matter what, I still love my “fuggs” and I don’t really hate Crocs (that much). Even if it shows how society has taken comfort and even immorality over style. Even if it shows how lazy everyone has become. Even if it shows how easily brainwashed we have become.

So screw it. The shoes are too freaking comfortable to pass up anyways.