Sometimes, it's difficult being this awesome.

Sometimes, it’s difficult being this awesome. Having just beauty, brains, or brawn by itself is hard enough to manage, but when you have all three it just becomes a hassle.

That’s what I imagine, anyway. I don’t tend to think of myself as awesome—feel free to contradict me at anytime, by the way—but I know it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe I really should have more pride in myself. Some more self-confidence could go a long way, and this does not apply only to me.



Classifications of man

There are two prominent types of people at MVHS, both of which are sorely missing a sense of pride that separates them from being the kings of the jungle. To understand these species, it is necessary to observe them in their natural habitats.

 

First are the creatures of Type B, scientific name “putselfdownicus.” Type Bs are curious creatures. They are the ones who wonder why that other guy made the soccer team. They hear the about the person who received an A on his essay—and he didn’t even read the book—while they hide their C. Type Bs complain and gripe and think that they just aren’t as good as the others. Don’t tell them to hang their heads in shame. They’re already doing it.

 

On the other side of the spectrum are the Type As, scientific name “minimus egota.” This classification is more difficult to understand, but they are the ones who hide their achievements simply because it isn’t cool to be cocky. Type As believe in camouflaging instead of showing off their attributes. In a population of minimus egota, it is common to observe an individual receive a high grade on his math test and turn the paper upside down, hiding the good mark before anyone else can notice. In this animal planet, having pride is worse than being bashful.



Evolution

The problem with both is the lack of pride. This is a school with a pressure to excel and need to succeed, but Type Bs believe whatever they do isn’t good enough and Type As think what they do isn’t noteworthy anymore. There is always someone who can do better, but that doesn’t lessen our own accomplishments. We can still be proud of ourselves.

 

One thing that we can do for ourselves is have a change in identity or a psychological makeover, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” style. Don’t worry. It will be fabulous.

 

There aren’t many people with beauty, brains, and brawn, and the honest truth is you probably aren’t one of them. But what you do have, what you do better than almost everyone else, is what you should concentrate on. Personally, I am a Type B. I wish that I could sing or draw or dance or do math problems as well as the next person, but as a Type B, I am going to stop focusing on what I can’t do. So what if my drawings are stick figures and I dance with the coordination of a drunk duck? I can still bake a pretty mean chocolate chip cookie. That is something to be proud of.

 

You don’t need to look into the mirror each morning and say how great you are, although you might want to just for that feeling of awesomeness. It’s human nature to be your own worst critic, but remember how well you can play the guitar. Maybe you are great at making your friends laugh. Take pride in the fact that you are an expert on Stargate (and good luck with that, by the way). If you actually do have beauty, brains, and brawn, congratulations. You are just plain awesome.