This isn’t Key club, and no, it’s not Octagon. Klub Ice is a bit different.

Step 1: How about you put on mascara, take your ID and 20 bucks. Step 2: Perhaps drive and arrive at Illusions Restaurant in Palo Alto. Stand in the line that wraps around the building while eyeing different guys. Some flaunt plaid attire, others rock eyebrow rings.  Nearing the club, hear the music booming. Notice some guys smoking on the upper-parking level. Get a very intimidating stare down from a larger-than-life bouncer. Peer into the club and the glaring flood lights. 

Step 3: Before entering the club, maybe you take a mini mirror trip to the overcrowded bathroom. Overhear giggling girls in dresses and short shorts steam with excitement while contemplating their figures in the reflection.

Step 4: Finally, saunter out of the bathroom and towards the dance floor. Make sure to walk with swagger. 

On Nov. 11, Klub Ice hosted "Party in the U.S.A.," a nighttime teen event that gave the promiscuous club environment an adolescent vibe. Yes, in this club, guys wearing bling-bling circle the dance floor like hawks, hunting for the right girl to freak with. Yes, in this club, a platform at the edge of the dance floor is just lacking a dance pole. Yes, MVHS Administration would condemn this club.  

Klub Ice can be described as MVHS dances pre-policy, but perhaps a bit sleazier, amplified with stellar disco lights, a fog machine, and the faint smell of pot. It was a four hour night that can easily be forgotten. There was no new spark and nothing about it drags you in. Possibly a one-time shin-dig, but Klub Ice is nothing of great entertainment or escapade.

The truth is, there is no concrete way to explain if a party at Klub Ice would be enjoyable because it all depends on your type of scene.  Some people have a ball boogieing next to 150 people they have never seen in their lives. Others decide to dance to rap music so loud that when they leave the club, their ears are popping. Many club goers like to spend a night at a place where nobody actually jerks to "You’re a Jerk" — they grind and freak. 

If that’s your arena, then you probably should have been at "Party in the U.S.A.," along with all the others who fancy dance floor relationships and fast, free hookups. And those who would never tell their parents how they dance.