A fractured family

Students describe how they adjusted to their parents’ divorce

Emma Lam and Helen Chao

Two families, one child

As they walked through the restaurant doors, before he’d even ordered from the Chili’s menu — even before they’d settled down in a booth — his mother broke the news.

She asked him and his brother, “How would you feel if me and your father divorced?”

Eleven years later, senior Mikael Chaudhry can’t remember his immediate reaction. However, he does recall feelings of protest and disbelief. No, a divorce wasn’t something he’d be okay with. Parents, he believed, simply weren’t supposed to be divorced. Yet now they were about to separate — and there was nothing 6-year-old Chaudhry could do to prevent it.

“I was just angry at it,” Chaudhry said. “Because … it’s like I can’t do anything about [it]. Nothing’s good, per se, like everything’s kind of going to sh--.”

Yet even before the divorce, his family members had already been detached from one another. Chaudhry’s father frequently worked from sunrise to sunset — for Chaudhry to even see him was something special in itself. His mother was frequently occupied with nursing school. His parents were rarely in the house at the same time. Nevertheless, the divorce was a shock for Chaudhry. At that age, he’d grown up under the illusion of families being together forever. Angrily, he communicated these sentiments to his parents, only to realize he couldn’t be emotionally dependent on them.

“I didn't have anybody like that [to reach out to] at all,” Chaudhry said. “I was pretty much handling it on my own.”

Chaudhry considers his father to be emotionally distant and his mother “all over the place.” To this day, he’s simply avoided discussing his parents’ fragmented relationship with them.

“They’re not really suited for each other,” Chaudhry said. “And frankly, I don’t know if they’re suited for very many other people.”

In the immediate aftermath of the divorce, Chaudhry persistently hoped the past would revive itself and that they’d return to a complete family of four once again. Yet two years later, he realized this separation was permanent. Chaudhry’s illusion of security faltered as his father end up selling their house, diverting his attention to the awaiting bills and an unstable job. As his mother finished nursing school, money became an incessant anxiety. Within the span of five years, both his parents constantly moved from apartment to apartment — Chaudhry and his brother with them. Eventually, switching between his mother and father’s apartments every Wednesday and constant relocations became the norm.

“[The] two years [after the divorce] normalizes it,” Chaudhry said. “Why would you want to go back?”

To adjust, Chaudhry had grounded himself on the aspects of his life which stayed the same regardless of the inconsistent living situation: there were friends to socialize with and school to attend. As it is with any new environment, Chaudhry believes, one simply has to adjust.

“You just got to. You just got to learn to deal with things, “ Chaudhry said. “That’s really all you can do.”

Ten years later, Chaudhry’s mother remarried, followed by his father’s remarriage just a year later. Chaudhry had anticipated marriage for quite some time, as his mother was already living with his stepfather. On the other hand, the remarrying of his father was entirely unpredicted. Prior to their wedding in Malaysia, where he met his fiance face to face for the first time, his relationship with her solely consisted of Skype calls here and there. Both his mother’s family and his father’s family now have one son of their own. His mother has also moved to Florida with her husband to be closer with her family.

While he is very close with his stepbrother on his mother’s side, he feels no connection with his father’s family. Chaudhry has always likened his personality and values to that of his mother, and believes the environment his other step-brother is growing up in is quite different from his own childhood.

“It’s almost like they kind of wanted to restart having that family experience,” Chaudhry said. “[But] it’s not exactly like you can just erase 17 years of stuff, [because] I’m still here. My older brother is still here. We still exist.”

With his older brother already an adult and Chaudhry turning 18 this year, he believes the two of them will fall to a lower priority in their parents’ eyes. His parents have their own affairs to deal with and so does he, although they still attempt to make time for Chaudhry and his brother.

Courtesy of the unrelenting adjustments in his life, he believes he is independent when it comes to taking care of himself. Although, he admits there are occasions in which he is too emotionally dependent on particular people. He’ll adopt older friends in an attempt to fill the role of a parent. He considers this relationship healthy if one can still keep some distance, but he doesn’t know if he is capable of doing that.

“I’ll latch onto certain people or habits to get that same, you know, same sort of feeling back of family,” Chaudhry says. “Sometimes, that makes me too dependent on people.”

Looking back, Chaudhry realizes he never really did experience the atmosphere of a genuine family. His believes his parents weren’t positive role models in terms of their behaviors toward one another, although this does not necessarily apply to their parenting. Even now, he acknowledges that they can’t hold a conversation for very long before it breaks into an argument.

“I don’t know if I would use the word happy [to describe my situation],” Chaudhry said. “But I would take this over any alternatives. Really.”

The late reveal

For this story all anonymous sources will be referred to with J names.

She hadn’t known then. At least, not for sure.

Their interactions were akin to that of close friends, one parent asking the other if they had eaten or vice versa. However, she felt the arguments they had tried to hide without success had subconsciously led her to suspect the inevitable divorce.

Six months after the actual divorce itself, Janice’s parents revealed their divorce to her.

Overall, Janice considers her life unaffected by the divorce, although she lives with her mom on the weekdays and only eats with her dad on the weekends. Even before the separation, she had never been on particularly close terms with her father, since his job typically kept him in the office.

After the divorce, it was the sudden absence of someone at the dinner table that starkly stood out to her, rather than the obvious difference in living situations. She recalls a sense of emptiness, a loss of motivation to study and bouts of crying for a few days after the divorce happened.

Instead of rebuffing their approaches to talk, Janice took it upon herself to communicate and respond to her parents, who lent their listening ears. She regards her willingness to express feelings as an essential supplement to her healing, an open attitude she advises other kids with divorced parents to take.

“I think keeping these feelings in is going to be eventually unhealthy,” Janice said. “And it’s a very dangerous, dormant feeling to have if you don’t fully express yourself.”

Janice admits she would have preferred her parents find resolutions to their broken relationship and stay together, but she concedes that their problems, regarding outside family and financial issues, had reached the point of irreconcilability. If two people harbor no intimate love for each other, she considers it unhealthy for them to live together. Most of all, Janice is extremely thankful for the present friendship between her parents — occasionally, everybody will still eat together.

Janice ultimately felt fine with her parents telling her sixth months later, but she believes the delayed announcement may be harmful for other children.

“[Keeping it a secret] had the opposite effect of the initial intention,” Janice said. “[They] usually hide it so the kids don’t get hurt, but it usually ends up hurting the kids even more.”

Two homes, one lifestyle

For this story all anonymous sources will be referred to with J names.

There were signs; he woke up at odd times of the night hearing the fights. When he had asked, they pretended nothing was wrong, as if they didn’t want to bother him with it. It was only in first grade when he learned about the divorce.

"[They] just said that dad would be living in a different house now,” Jackson said. “They kept it really simple but they were honest about it."

His father had moved right away, but Jackson didn’t quite understand the implications behind it. It was no longer the three of them, but now only two of them at a time. It took the transition to second grade to realize that his father wasn’t coming back to the house. The word “divorce” circulated in the back of his mind, but he had never really come face to face with the concept.

“Usually [he'd] come towards the end of the night. [I'd] wait for him next to the garage door,” Jason said. “I'd sit in the chair and wait for him to come home, [but] he wouldn't [come].”

Ten years later, Jackson has become accustomed to living in two homes.

"It's weird for me to even imagine how it would be if they lived in the same house,” Jackson said. “[There's] a schedule, right, and it works out really well. I see both parents a lot. I see my mom during the weekdays and my dad during the weekends.”

Jackson’s family functions much like any other family. They live close to one another to accommodate Jackson day to day. When it comes to staying over and deciding where Jackson will go for the holidays, Jackson tries to remain impartial. By remaining impartial, he’s able to not favor one parent over the other, and make sure his parents’ feelings aren’t hurt. And most importantly, both parents still care for him and try their hardest to stay as much as a unit as possible.

“[It] just works into my whole lifestyle well. It used to be like they used to fight over holidays and stuff, but now it's kind of up to me where I want to be,” Jackson said. “I really have control over where I want to stay, so it works perfect right now.”

Unlike a lot of divorced children, Jackson doesn’t find himself rather upset by the change from a two parent household to one. In fact, there are still some benefits he believes he has by being both a child of divorce and an only child.

“[The] amount of freedom I have right now is so much more than a lot of the other kids that live in a single household,” Jackson said. “Like both of their parents would be on the same page of everything, but mine don't talk to each other right? They'll talk to make sure they're on the same page about the important stuff, but I have to be more independent.”

Happily ever after

She was the girl who believed in a happily ever after. She was the girl who was always optimistic, even in the darkest of times. She still believed in fairytales and along with her sister, she was one of the princesses in her family.

But even with her rose-colored glasses, she could still see the signs that something was wrong. The fighting was starting to escalate. From fights in the house to those that needed to be taken outside, the reflection of that happy family was cracking.

And on one summer vacation, another fight had started. From China to San Francisco, the family had traveled far to visit her grandparents and they were currently sitting in their hotel room. And just like any other day, her parents went outside to talk it out, only to come back with a brand-new solution.

We decided to get a divorce.

The illusion was over. Senior Kendall Yu’s heart shattered into small pieces. They went home in separate cars.

“I was expecting it, but it was still really painful to hear. It just felt real, as soon as my parents said, ‘Hey we’re gonna get a divorce,’” Yu said. “It just hit me, ‘Oh my gosh this is real,’ and I just started crying a lot.”

Yu eventually ended up moving to the U.S. a year later permanently with her mother and sister, following after her dad, who had moved as well for his new job. But fresh in her mind was the divorce, even after a year later.

“First I had to accept it,” Yu said. “It took a while. I had to kind of learn that relationships don’t last forever, and things like that. I had to learn a lot of adult relationship things.”

When she was younger, Yu thought that divorce was a taboo topic and something that wasn’t really supposed to be talked about. She thought everyone had seemed happy within their families, and she was different in the eyes of those around her. They would laugh at her split apart family, they wouldn’t understand. So she kept quiet.

Despite her original worries, in seventh grade, Yu ended up finding a group of friends who she could trust with the knowledge that her parents were divorced.

“We were all really little, but they were always there to cheer me up. I had a support system,” Yu said. “A fun group of friends who were there to make me laugh.”

Yu sometimes is asked about if she would rather have her family go back to the way it was, before but Yu only has one opinion in mind.

“I used to. [But] now that I understand more about relationships and all that, it’s actually better that they’re separated now,” Yu said. “I don’t wish it was back to that little family, I like it better as it is now.”

With a newfound support system and a mature mindset, Yu and her sister began to tackle on some of the new life changes, such as the ever switching schedules.

“[In] court, we have the fifty fifty sharing, so every week my sister and I have to switch,” Yu said. “[My] sister and I are together, but we go back and forth between mom’s and dad’s houses. That was rough.”

Yu eventually got used to the home-switching, but in the process Yu had to grow up faster than what a normal child would, as she had a younger sister who needed care and stability in her life. Not to mention, Yu’s parents still had major tension between each other, causing Yu and her sister to fight as well.

“We always had each other, I wasn’t her mom, but I was taking care of [her].” Yu said. “She had one consist parent, [me] if that makes sense.”

Yu knew that her sister was still adjusting to the divorce itself, just like her. She was just as lost as Yu, but being the older sibling, Yu knew that she had to take charge, which pushed her to adjust faster. But just like her previous fairytale loving self, she prefers to look at the bright side of things.

“Emotionally I was really crushed at first, but I got used to it, because I knew I had to take care of my sister,” Yu said. “In terms of [my] own relationships in my life, I think I got closer to friends in my life, because they were all there for me.”

But as for other children of divorce, looking back on her years of experience, Yu says to open up to people that you personally trust and to build up a support system, as well to just let your emotions loose.

“Whatever you’re feeling, it’s ok to feel that for as long as you need to,” Yu said. “But in the long term just know that these kind of relationships don’t last forever and it’s ok if they end.”

A Jarring realization

For this story all anonymous sources will be referred to with J names.

The three of them — mom, dad and son — sat around the kitchen table, a grave atmosphere compared to the championship swim meet he’d just returned from. Jared recalls bits and pieces of the reassurance his father started the discussion with — change is inevitable, sometimes good, sometimes bad and we’ll always love you no matter what — a kind of buffer for the solemn news to come. At first, the sentimental language suggested the passing of his grandfather, a thought he wondered aloud, only to be rebuked by his father.

Instead, he was told his parents were getting a divorce.

The news was jarring, he recalls, but his reaction was dull. In the span of a single night — the very night they broke the news — he promptly accepted the change as inevitable, though he was still in slight shock.

No explanation was offered for what propelled the separation. Never had he noticed any apparent tension or problems to hint at a rocky relationship. In fact, they had enjoyed their anniversary dinner just a week ago. Jared believes his father and mother concealed their disagreements to let him concentrate on schoolwork.

The divorce occurred in seventh grade, but Jared, now an upperclassman, is still clueless as to why his parents divorced. He cites a sense of fear for the truth, but concedes he will ask eventually.

“Oh, you never know what could have went wrong,” Jared said. “And I don’t like to think about that.”

Jared reasons that they’ve never been a stereotypical family. Each person had his or her own busy schedule to align to, and different and separate meal times were a regular occurrence. He did feel slightly sad realizing the lack of time he would now spend with his dad, but ultimately considers himself emotionally unaffected after the divorce. However, he knows other kids with divorced parents may not necessarily feel as unaffected.

“If you just need to rant, just rant to someone about it,” Jared said. “It kind of gets that pressure off your chest and it allows you to express your emotions.”

However, Jared felt no need to reach out to people for emotional support. At first, he was a little confused as to how to deal with the situation, but comforted himself with the fact that other friends also had divorced parents — suggesting he wasn’t the only one with the unfortunate living situation.

With the change, however, came personal growth.

“I learned to be more self-sufficient and independent,” Jared said. “Which helped me grow as a person in the long-term.”

The divorce urged Jared to take everyday matters into his own hands. In the past, he’d simply back out of swim practice if neither of his parents could send him. Even with his mother at work or father living in Redwood City, Jared sometimes bikes and attends swim practice nevertheless. As a seventh grader, he managed to visit his dad once a week, but the frequent visits gradually diminished as schoolwork and highschool gained a steep incline in his life. Visits are typically once a month now.

Unfortunately, the relationship between his mother and father is slightly strained. According to Jared, they say they’re friends and frequently text each other, but they are still averse to seeing each other in person. Jared remembers asking if his father could stay for a couple of nights as his mother went on a business trip — she immediately vetoed the suggestion.

“She’s like ‘No, that’s like, not [going] to happen,’” Jared said. “He does not live in this house anymore.’ So that’s kind of weird.”

Now, Jared believes he shares a nonchalant, mutual respect with his father. With his father’s relocation to Redwood City, the physical distance between the two of them is certainly further, but their bond has ironically grown closer. Jared considers current visits more meaningful than those of days past, in which his relationship with his father existed as a dim recognition of a person working in their office at home. Ultimately, Jared just hopes kids who undergo the same experience as him realize the divorce isn’t their fault and solely their parents’ decision.

“[The divorce] is most likely something you can’t control,” Jared said. “Just know that you couldn’t control it and nothing you have done could have saved it.”

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Growing up with half-siblings and step-siblings

MVHS students discuss their experiences adjusting to life with their half-siblings and step-siblings

Julia Yang

Junior Jasmine Tsai has two full siblings, Joshua, her 14-year-old brother and Julianne, her 12-year-old sister, as well as two half siblings, Jaclynn, her four-year-old sister and Jasper, her one-and-a-half-year-old brother. Tsai has lived with her half siblings since they were born, which she states is the reason she holds a strong bond with them.

“I think because I was there since the beginning, [knowing that they were my half-siblings] didn’t really have that big of an effect on me,” Tsai said. “Especially since they’re little kids too, it’s hard to have anything against them.”

The difference Tsai sees in the relationship she has with her half siblings and the relationship she has with her full siblings is only due to their young age. Their relationships are all strong, but rather than the friendship bond normal siblings may hold, the relationship Tsai holds with her half-siblings are similar to that of a kid with their guardian as she feels an obligation to protect them.

“I think at the moment, [knowing we’re half-siblings] has no effect on [my half-siblings] because they’re so young, but they’re starting to realize that we’re gone half the time and that there’s other adults in our life that we live with,” Tsai said. “Later on, it might affect them more.”

Regardless, Tsai still believes they will all remain close, even in the future.

Sophomore Adrienne Nevitt and junior Bryce Nevitt are full blood-related siblings along with their sister, MVHS alumni (Class of 2017) Grace Nevitt. Unlike Tsai, the Nevitts’ relationships with their step-siblings, Bryan and Shannon, who are full siblings, were not as smooth in the beginning as they were introduced to each other as siblings at older ages.

The three Nevitt siblings were introduced to Bryan and Shannon as step-siblings in July of 2011, when their dad married Bryan and Shannon’s mom. Bryce and Adrienne attended the same elementary school as Bryan, so they all knew each other before becoming siblings.

“I had known Bryan since [kindergarten], so we used to hang out at the playground at school. We’ve always known each other, so [becoming siblings] was kind of like ‘Oh cool, we can hang out more, this is gonna be so cool,’” Bryce said. “But there were also some problems because he used to have some anger issues.”

However, Adrienne, on the other hand, was not very fond of Bryan in her elementary school days. As he frequently and easily got angry, Adrienne had thought of him to be an aggressive and mean person.

“When [Bryan] finally moved in, it was definitely kind of scary at first, and I didn’t really communicate with him much,” Adrienne said. “I hung out with his older sister, Shannon, a lot more than I did with Bryan since she was nicer. Me and Bryan never really had a good connection when we first started living in the same house.”

It took awhile for the Nevitts to adjust to the addition of their two step-siblings; they were put into psychological therapy to help them adjust to the big change. Bryce and Grace did not need much therapy and did not have as hard of a time adjusting, however, Adrienne, as the youngest of the three, found the situation especially hard to accept, and so she went through four years of therapy to help her overcome the difficulties that came along with the life-changing event.

As for the current situation, while Grace and Shannon are off at college most of the time, the rest of the siblings alternate living with their biological parents.

“We don’t really see each other as often as we used to,” Bryce said. “Before, our dad and their mom would want to want to make schedules that would let us be together as much as possible to let us bond, but now we just kind of do it by weeks.”

Despite a rocky beginning, over the years, the relationships the Nevitts had with their step-siblings slowly grew stronger, and their personalities have changed as they got used to each other. In addition, Bryan, though described by the Nevitts to have been a bit aggressive before, has changed too as he became more confident and calm.

“My personality definitely changed because I had to deal with two new people coming into my life at a young age,” Adrienne said. “I had to adjust and I think I’ve changed so that I’m better at dealing with people who have different personalities from me … I’ve become a more understanding person who’s able to deal with certain people now.”

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The ones they lost

Students and teacher talk about losing members of immediate family

Om Khandekar

This story is about death. Not necessarily about the death of a family member, but about what happens after. The routines that die with the loved one, the sense of comfort and mundane living that either shifts or never become the same.

Sean Chen’s Journey:

When sophomore Sean Chen’s mom died, he lost a mother and a lifestyle. Chen used to live up in San Francisco, but once his mom began treatment for her cancer, they were forced to move down to the Bay Area where Chen had more family. In the days leading up to her death, Chen can remember her last few days as growing increasingly grim.

“I remember one specific time where she was in the bathroom and she said she couldn’t breathe,” Chen said. “And then my cousin, who was much more adept at hearing these things or paying attention to things that matter, was able to hear it, thankfully, or hear her screaming and then she had to go to the hospital again.”

Chen can distinctly feel the absence of his mother, as she was his closest confidant. When she was alive, they stayed with Chen’s grandparents because his mom used to work a fulltime job. He still lives with his grandparents now after her passing, but the language barrier between them makes him feel as if he can’t communicate with them as freely. In fact, it may go even deeper than just communication issues. Chen believes that he had developed slight issues controlling his anger stemming from both his mother’s death and inability to communicate as intimately with his grandparents, and only recently did he find friends to serve as an outlet to express his feelings to.

“I think it’s a family thing honestly. I’m not very good at controlling [my anger], and I think it’s mostly because I don’t speak to people about these things besides very recently,” Chen said. “When I found people that I could just release all my thoughts on, I finally released all my thoughts all the time.”

Still, Chen hopes other students don’t have to endure the same emotions he went through when trying to find people to talk to. He can recall the funeral service his grandparents threw for his mother, and how they had him sing a Chinese song on stage.

“[The song] was something about how your mom is the best person, [that] there’s no one on earth better to you than your mom,” Chen said. “I had lost her, so I guess at a young age I had lost the person that was the best to me.”

Sophia Powell’s Journey:

Although sophomore Sophia Powell remembers being prepared for her mother’s eventual passing, it was still difficult to be completely ready for when it happened.

“I sent an email out to all my teachers, mentioning that I wouldn’t be coming back for about a week or so and they all responded with their sympathy and just saying take your time, don’t focus on the work, that’s not really important right now, spend time with family,” Powell said. “It wasn’t surprising, but it was just glad to hear.”

Powell’s reaction to her mother’s death was complicated. Her mother had been diagnosed with aplastic anemia, a disorder that causes the body to stop producing blood cells, for three years before her death. Powell and her family took turns caring for her mother, helping her fulfill basic day-to-day tasks. On one hand, she felt that her mother had been going through a drawn out ordeal that was slowly decreasing the quality of her life. On the other hand, the days leading up to her mother’s death had been hopeful. Her doctor had proposed a liver transplant to help her body produce more blood cells and combat the disease, and a donor had been found. Before the operation could be completed however, her mother had a brain aneurysm, or a stroke in the brain. The surgery was called off, and Powell was left with just the memory of her mother.

“She wasn’t conscious so I didn’t really say a goodbye goodbye, knowing that we were communicating, you know, talking back and forth,” Powell said. “She was already unconscious by the time I got to the hospital that day. So that was really hard and then after … you know days like today, I mean there’s not like one day that’d go by not thinking about her.”

Some days, Powell might be completely sidetracked academically. But for the most part, her mom’s death wasn’t completely jarring. To Powell, it was an event that left her with mixed emotions. Her mom didn’t have to suffer further and Powell has since moved on to live the rest of her life.

Jeff Payne’s Journey:

Math teacher Jeff Payne can see how it can take a while for a student to find peers they trust enough to confide in them about traumatic experiences. When it comes to losing a parent as a teenager, he believes the emotions that follow are more raw and difficult to deal with.

“I know that even when my late wife was fighting cancer, my kids struggled with ‘How much do I want to tell people, and who do I want to tell, who do I sort of trust’ and it can be a very sensitive topic, because I think there is fear involved that people use the information poorly,” Payne said. “I mean, you’d hope that every teenager would be very supportive and sympathetic, but I don’t know if everyone always is and I think teenagers can worry about that.”

Payne watched his wife battle with breast cancer, and once she passed, he took a leave of absence from his role as a math teacher. He remembers how the rest of the department covered his classes for him, and how his students were clued into what he was going through by some of the substitute teachers that taught in his place. Although Payne lost a significant other, he believes losing a family member as a teenager is much more difficult than later on in life.

“My dad passed away the same year, but I was a middle-aged adult. So as a teenager I can’t really imagine all the feelings that are involved,” Payne said. “There’s certainly the grief and the loss of their relationship, but it’s one of your parents.”

Payne can also recall having a few students in his class who have gone through similar experiences. He hopes to communicate to them just how much respect he has for their situation.

“I would make sure that I knew that it was really, really hard for them and that I really respected how they’re handling it, that they’re at school, that they’re trying to stay focused academically,” Payne said. “Which, when you’re dealing with grief, it can be really challenging to stay on task and to stay focused the two things you worry about with anybody, but teens as well when they go through a lot of grief is losing focus, and then isolating.”

Payne, Chen and Powell all went through three different journeys to get where they are today. However, death isn’t just a stain on their collective memory. Powell’s last memory of her mother is still something she is proud of as well.

“At her celebration of life - we ended up having a celebration of life instead of a funeral, it just fit her better - about 250 [or] 300 people came and I got to learn about all their stories about how they knew my mom and how important she was to these people that I didn’t even know existed,” Powell said. “It was kind of inspiring. She was definitely and inspirational woman to me, and still is.”

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