El Estoque

SSS limbo

Songjun Na

The final bell of my first semester senior year echoed throughout our school campus. It’s over. It’s finally over. The stress I’ve built up over the last four years in MVHS through the constant worry about my grades started to melt away, making way for relief to sweep through my body. The moment I so long waited for was finally upon me; I was finally a second semester senior, and, from now on, the grades I get in high school won’t cause any more stress.


Sike. Boy, was I wrong.


All my motivation and dedication I had for maintaining my GPA quickly dissipated as soon as second semester started. I started to miss class just because I didn’t feel like going. The bathrooms breaks I took during classes became 10-15 minute hangouts with the people who happened to have a free period that time. The quality of my work dipped drastically to a point where my teachers expressed their concern about my well-being. You will probably think that, “Oh, just another victim of senioritis”, but I think my problems this semester go far beyond that.


Before becoming a second semester senior, I had the expectation of myself that I would work hard to earn high grades. Despite the loathing I had for school throughout my previous years, I kept working hard. I was always compelled to work to the best of my abilities.


In the end, as the pressure of earning high marks in school was lifted off my shoulders, it felt like my purpose in life was … lost. I was at a stage of “What now? What am I supposed to do?” I think I felt this way because, for my whole life, I always worked hard solely for the grade, not for any learning experience. So when becoming a second semester senior lessened the significance of getting a high grade, I quickly became disinterested.


And, I don’t think I’m the only one who is in the same situation as I am. I have expressed my ongoing frustration to many of my friends, and they seem to collectively agree that we become so delved on getting a high grade that we often lose the reasons as to why we even come to school, which is to learn. It’s just not healthy


My resolution to this ordeal is provide a more selection of classes in our school. That way, students are more likely to pursue their own interests, and hopefully end the discomfort from grinding in classes we don’t want to take.


For myself, as I get ready to move on to the phase of my life in college, I’m trying to step back and see what truly matters to me. I guess you can say I am doing some soul-searching in order to figure what I want to become in the future. If any of you guys are going through the same thing as I am, my advice is don’t lose hope. Keep grinding until you find that breakthrough.


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